WHY I FORGAVE MY ABUSER(S)

I TOOK BACK MY POWER

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I was a victim of psychological abuse for the last 8 years I lived in Florida.  This included being discriminated against by an employer, being tortured by the doctor who delivered my son, and being manipulated and verbally abused by people who said they loved and cared about me.  How telling someone they are ugly and fat, a bad mom, and lazy is “love” I don’t know, and I now know it is not.

My abuse included being fired from my job for filing a sexual harassment complaint and because I am gay; it included being black balled from ever working in the state of Florida again and then being told I was “lazy” and that it was “my fault” because I couldn’t get hired because of being blackballed.  I got told I was a bad parent for giving my son up for adoption even though none of that would have happened if I hadn’t been tortured by my doctor, who turned my epidural off without permission leading to severe postpartum.  Then, when I had my daughter and had a better doctor and demanded that my right to keep my epidural on the whole time be honored (it was, which meant no postpartum and I have happily and proudly been raising her), I was still made to feel like a bad person because of what happened with my son.

I was threatened with homelessness, despite the fact that the house was in my name.  I was forced to give certain persons my food stamps to sell and was even sometimes forced to give up whatever cash my family managed to send me.  People were invited to live in my home without permission.  Finally, when I had to move back to Iowa or risk losing my daughter too, I was verbally abused and threatened.

Then, I forgave my abusers.  I took back MY power.  I will never forget what was done to me, but it is time to move on.

Author: Stacie M Stark

Activist with 25 years of experience in human and animal rights and welfare. Specializing in children's rights and issues, LGBT rights, and companion animal welfare and rights. Member and always will be of Amnesty International, Best Friends Animal Society, and PETA. Mom, queer, vegetarian. Hello Kitty and Disney Princess collector. Cat lover. Sagwa fan. I want to live at the public library.

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